Clik here to view.
Heat Wave!
Hi y'all.Whhheeeeee-hew! It's hot in herrr, and all I can think of is how I need to be as friggin cool as poss. It's a total no-brainer, I just need to let it all hang out and be free to be me,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Clik here to view.
Best Spam subject line ever
'When you see it, you'll shit brix!!!$!'Mmmmm hmm, that's right. Somebody thinks they KNOW how I will react to some *unknown* thing. Fool, please. Nothing but nothing makes me BLINK.... except for the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
S'up!
S'up, hombres? I feel, like SO bad for not being more on the biz-nall about dropping the knowledge an letting peeps KNOW some shit.What can I say? I've been tied up:Yeah, the whole 'getting trapped in...
View ArticleClik here to view.
I'm a Winner!
Peeps, if you could only have been there with me at the magic moment. It was... magical.Some kind souls gave me 16 scratch tickets for my birthday (that's right, bitches, it was my bday and you forgot....
View ArticleClik here to view.
Eureka!
Automatic Pancake Maker!!!!! The little pancakes just sloop sloop sloop out the side! Fucking A!Painless, panless pancakes!One of their target markets is the hospital cafeteria.... hmmmmmmmm.
View ArticleClik here to view.
Summer is over
S'up friendz! Apologies for my prolonged absence. I have been busy Britishing up my teef:Bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahaha! Good, right? Classic. CLASSIC. That's just so ME, right? Innyhoooooo, since I've...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Celebs!
DUDES!One of the guys who was in Weekend at Bernie's (alas, not Bernie himself) is filimg a movie in the park by my work! Not Anderw McCarthy- the other guy! Also known as Jonathan Silverman.While they...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A Bone to Pick
Dear Turner Classic Movie Channel,I was curious to see in your film schedule that you have chosen to add 'My Giant' to your film rotation. I am a fan of film in its many guises, and YET I find it odd-...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Peekaboo!
Hiya!Where have I been hiding? Oh, nowheres special, friends. Just behind this ONCE LIVING ANIMAL'S fur, that's all. Not to mention my own beard, which is threatening to eat my face.Grooming becomes...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Hold the phone.
Do you mean to tell me that there is someone out there named JENSON BUTTON? And that he has actually been making headlines, and I did not know about it?What the fuck? What fucking ROCK have I been...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Wazzzzzzzzzzzzup
Hey, bitches.What have I been up to? Abso-fricking-lutely NADA, that's what.Aside from canoeing down the river of life, that is:Yep, been spending some of my precious lunch hour looking at photos of...
View ArticleClik here to view.
R U Serious?
Because this guy is. And he wants to take things to another level: a 'ride behind me on my motorcycle, feel the talons of my falcon dig into your arm' kind of level. Happy Halloween!
View ArticleClik here to view.
Clik here to view.
A Few Good Men
Just some food for thought here, peeps:I'm thinking of doing a nature show a la David Attenborough. Just gathering material.I'll keep you posted.
View ArticleClik here to view.
Problemz
About to return to the welcoming bosom that is Glasgow- just for a weekend. Before I go, witness the amazingness that can be found on the internet.True as the day it was written.
View ArticleClik here to view.
Happy New Year!
Just a quick note to wish all you bitches happy 2010. I simply HAD to run out and buy some novety 2010 specs. Red and sparkly, natch.If you thought YOU were the original New Year Novelty Glasses...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Interlude!
Stop!Capybara time.I love capybaras; am fascinated by them.Capybaras love capybaras:Capybaras love bath time:Capybaras love Austin hipsters:Capybaras love hogging photos:
View ArticleClik here to view.
So...
I joined Twitter so I could follow Danny DeVito without being arrested for stalking.Lesson learned? Twitter makes even Danny DeVito boring.
View ArticleClik here to view.
Oh, hello!
Mornin'! How tempting is it just pack the whole 'job' shit in, pack a hobo's bindle, hit the rails and wind up at a goose cottage far, far away? Light a campfire and crack open a can of hobo...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Cool
Wazzzup bitches? Joe Cool here, maxin', relaxin' and satistfaxin'.I know I have effectively just blown your collective minds by FINALLY revealing my true identity and coming out of the closet as...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Paying it Forward
Sweaters for chickens, y'all:Muthafunking CHICKENZZZZZZ.Does it get better? Of effing course it does, fools:Oh my gawd, I am so plotzing right now. PLOTZING, people. Tiny little rabbit sweater. It's...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Pulling it off
Folks, it's that time again. The time when I stress the eff out and fill in my visa application to stay in the UK.But you know what? I'm playing it cool this time. How cool, you ask?This fucking...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Sigh
Just when I think I'm out... THEY PULL ME BACK IN!Who you ask? Al Pacino? Wilford Brimley? Which agent of the devil are conspiring to inspire such ennui in me?Oh, just CATS again:So there I am,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
